The State of Columbia.  No, I'm not talking about the South American country (which is Colombia, anyway, and they're really picky about the spelling). I'm talking about that little patch of land which used to be made up of part of Maryland and part of Virginia. You know, the one where all those government buildings are located, and all those monuments and stuff, and the Smithsonian. That one.

Well, if you live there, you get screwed by the feds, and in the same way that the 13 colonies were being screwed by George III all those centuries ago. They get taxed at the federal level, but they don't have voting representation in either house of Congress. Taxation without representation -- sound familiar?

Now, many have said that it would be only fair to make the District of Columbia a state, giving its residents voting Representatives and Senators. It does sound fair, and I'd be all in favor of it -- with just one little string attached.

Remember up top where I said that the D of C used to be made up of part of Maryland and part of Virginia? Well, back in the 1840's, Virginia got their piece given back to them by Congress. Now that's all mixed up with the slavery debates of the time, and I'm not going to go into the details here. Suffice it to say, the part that Virginia gave was given back.

But the part that Maryland gave? That's what's known as the D of C today.

I'm sure that Maryland's a very nice state. I've only ever stayed there four times, and all of those were spent in and around Baltimore. And I've seen the Chesapeake Bay while driving south to other destinations, and it's a magnificent body of water. But Maryland's the only state that has lost every court case involving land that it laid claim to. That's why, when you look at it on a map, it's got that funny piece out west, and that peninsula in the east has its bottom part chopped off and given to Virginia.

And there's all that land they gave to make the D of C way back when. In fact, they gave 69 square miles while Virginia only gave 31. Screwed again, land-wise.

So what I say is this: Let the District of Columbia become the state of Columbia. Let its citizens have the right to be represented fully in Congress.

And let it happen the minute Virginia gives its 31 square miles of land back. That means that all of Arlington county, including the city of Alexandria and Arlington National Cemetery and Reagan Airport, becomes part of the new state.

Columbia should be restored to its original size and shape before it becomes a state. It's only fair.