And on to the next generation: Thomas Ralph Dandino Jr. was born Friday. His parents are Thomas and Shayna Dandino Sr. Thomas Sr. is the stepson of my sister, Penny (aka "Grandma"). Which makes me Thomas Jr.'s great-uncle, I think. My parents, had they lived just one more year, would have been great-grandparents -- which was what my father's parents became before they passed, when my Aunt Mildred's girls gave birth.

Trying to do the smart thing: Last weekend Bill-the-Honeybear and I invited over his friend Karen, who happens to do contracting work for older/historic houses, to take a look around our house, give us her opinion, and give us advice on our plans for renovating the joint. The upshot is that we're spending this year getting the exterior (or "envelope") -- the roof, the siding, the gutters, the windows, the doors -- in shape before we do anything with the interior. She'll be in touch with some of her contacts about preliminary prices, then come back to us so we can decide with whom to go. Our next step is choosing workers and scheduling spring/summer work dates. Karen's scheduling advice? Start from the top and work down, which means the roof and gutters get done first, followed by siding, windows, and doors.

Every now and then, Bill-the-Honeybear and I treat ourselves to a marathon day at the movies. The last couple of times were at the Montgomery Cinema, on Route 206 South (between Hillsborough and Princeton). The Montgomery is unusual for this area -- a multiplex that concentrates on more artistic works, including foreign language films (although they have shown such commercial movies as "Lost in Translation" and "Calendar Girls"). Our most recent outing was this past Sunday, when we saw two films back-to-back.

First, Bad Education, the new Pedro Almodovar film. If ever a film illustrated the phrase "Things are not what they seem," this one is it. It's a psychological thriller of sorts, with truth and fiction intermingled in past and present, flashbacks within flashbacks, until you're lost in the magic of Almodovar's story-telling -- and brought up short by the amazing conclusion. It's partly about child abuse by priests; partly about the movie-making industry; partly about justice; partly about revenge; partly about desire. It's entirely gripping. It's to Spain's shame that they never seem to enter an Almodovar film as the country's entry to the big awards such as the Oscars or the Golden Globes.

Then, Sideways, this year's Golden Globes winner as best comedy. Set in northern California's wine country, this is a romance, a buddy film, a road trip comedy, a coming-of-age tale (even though the characters coming of age are all in their late 30's/early 40's). This film has the best ending of any film I've seen in a good long time. The four main players -- Paul Giamatti, Virginia Madsen, Thomas Haden Church, and Sandra Oh -- would, if there were any justice in the world, be carrying home armloads of awards, as should director Alexander Payne (who also co-wrote the script). This is on my short list of things you should hock your grandmother to buy tickets for.

I've recently created a prototype of the newsletter I'll be co-editing (Challenge, the newsletter of the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County), and last night I showed it to members of the group's board (including my co-editor). The general reactions were that it looked better than the newsletter has looked in a while, and that my ideas for content were also good choices. (Some long-timers said that my content ideas were things that used to be in Challenge but had not appeared in a long time.) So I'm happy. But that was the easy part -- now all I have to do is get people to write!

Well, at least dinner was good. Last night, Bill-the-Honeybear and I had dinner at Charlie Brown's in Millburn, followed by Harold & Maude: The Musical. It's not that the show was a stinkeroo -- the cast, headed by veteran Estelle Parsons, was fine. It's just that, at almost every turn, the wrong choice was made. The theatre space (Paper Mill Playhouse) was just too damn big, even with a huge chunk of the space hidden behind black drapes. The scenery tried for suggestive and ended up with sparse -- except for Maude's house, which was filled with clutter that was barely used (like the staircase, which nobody went up or down except when Harold hung a banner -- and even then, he only went up 3 steps). There was one interesting video projection on the rear wall depicting a wild car ride, but other than that the projections were ignorable. The costumes were decent enough, but the only flair was shown in Maude's outfits. Don't even ask about the lighting design -- although whether the fault was in the design or in the tech people working lights, I couldn't say. And this was the first time I can remember when I wish the cast, especially Estelle Parsons, was more heavily miked.

Ah, but what about the music? Sorry you asked. Veteran composer Tom Jones (The Fantasticks, I Do! I Do!) teamed up with relative newcomer Joseph Thalken. While a lot of the lyrics were in the serviceable-to-clever range, the music was a letdown. Maude's intro number was a very nice character piece, done to a swirly waltz, where she expounded on her philosophy. Unfortunately, all of Maude's other numbers -- except the second act opener, a jazzy little fox trot called Song in My Pocket -- were swirly waltzes in which Maude expounded on her philosophy. INCLUDING the deathbed scene song. (Why is it that, ever since Mimi in La Boheme, dying people in musicals always manage to last just long enough to hit that last note?) Maude's swirliness was offset -- badly -- by Harold, a character who really shouldn't be able to sing or dance until he finally falls in love with his aged paramour. Yet he has earlier numbers of his own: an alienation number about finding a place in the world; a song about performing a real suicide instead of the fake ones he constantly does to elicit some real emotion from his mother. The best number of the evening belongs neither to Harold nor to Maude. It belongs to the minor character Sunshine, a wannabe singer/actress who appears in one scene in act 2, and it's a wickedly funny parody of modern opera (especially Philip Glass' Ahkenaten) and the works of Stephen Sondheim. You know something's gone dreadfully wrong when a number this funny gets no laughs from the audience; it means that they've given up on the show.

I will mention the names of the cast members -- all five of them -- in hopes that by doing so, the universe will acknowledge their yeoman work in this turkey and reward them with better parts in better shows. In alphabetical order, they are: Danny Burstein (Dr. Sigmoid and all the minor male roles); Donna Lynne Champlin (Sunshine and all the minor female roles); Donna English (Mrs. Chasen, Harold's mother); Eric Millegan (Harold Chasen); and Estelle Parsons (Maude).

The wrap-up: Unless you're a huge fan of Estelle Parsons, save your money and rent the movie.

DVD's are really wonderful things. I'm not just saying that (although I did just say that). They take up less space than tapes, they have tons of extra features, and you can skip around using a menu function to wherever you want, without having to go through fast forward and rewind. I recently bought some more, so I'm gonna rave a little.

Broadway: The Golden Age is a priceless compilation of interviews with actors and others who were around during the period from about 1945 to about 1965 -- the so-called "Golden Age" of Broadway. What comes across to me are three things.

First, repeatedly you hear of the sense of community that existed among entertainers in NYC at the time. As Barbara Cook says, the actors not only all knew each other, but they knew the jazz musicians and the strippers and the comics. Add to this Carol Burnett's story about "the dress" -- the $20 dress that she and three other girls bought to use for auditions, and the one who used it had to have it cleaned and put back for the next one to use.

Second, you hear of the passing of knowledge by observing how other actors perform. And it seems to be generational -- the older interviewees speak of seeing Laurette Taylor in The Glass Menagerie; the younger ones speak of seeing Julie Harris or Kim Stanley.

Third, there is an elegaic quality to many of the interviews toward the end. There's a sense that, for a short while, there was this Golden Age that will never come again -- and that those who took part didn't really know it was a golden age, or that things would ever change.

That's Entertainment! Yes, many of us saw this one when it first came out in 1976, for MGM's fiftieth anniversary. But did you know there were two sequals? Well, I got the boxed set -- all three installments, plus a bonus DVD of "making of" specials and numbers cut from pictures prior to release. Since MGM was the studio for musicals, watching these compilations is my favorite kind of nostalgia trip.

The Fellowship of the Ring, the first part of The Lord of the Rings trilogy, is the only one I haven't seen yet. Plus this is the one I bought for Bill-the-Honeybear. Four discs -- two of the movie, and two of extras -- make up this one. Me, I want to see the extra scenes added to the movie for the DVD release, and see how much more of Tolkien's creation was filmed than was released. And yes, eventually I'll get the other two parts, but not right now.

Take a look over at the links on the right, and you'll see a new one, for BearRadio. I got pointed to this by Bill-the-Honeybear, so I'm passing the favor along. You will need to download a new-fangled mp3 player to listen, but I believe the download is free. And remember: Gay Music by Gay Artists Is Good for You.

Another openin', another show. Or, taking last week into consideration, four other shows. I've already done my critique on Pacific Overtures, so now I'll do the other three, in order of attendance.

La Cage aux Folles: I saw the original production the night before it opened, 20 years ago. It was, to use a cliche, fabulous. This production was a little scaled down, but not that much, and it's still fabulous...elegant...sensual, as Zaza puts it in her first song. Zaza, for those of you who have never seen La Cage or its American cousin, The Birdcage, is a drag artiste -- real name, Albin -- who is never more alive when in her highest drag on the stage of the St. Tropez nightclub he owns with his partner of 20 years, Georges. Trouble comes in the form of Georges' son, Jean-Michel (the result of a one-night stand many years ago). Seems the boy loves a young lady whose father is a moralistic politician -- and her parents are coming to visit his parents. Except that a mother who's really a man just won't fly with the boy's soon-to-be in-laws -- so Albin has got to go, while Georges pretends to be straight for just one night. But this is a comedy, after all, so in the end true love and unwanted publicity triumph, and Georges and Albin walk off into the St. Tropez sunset arm in arm.

It's been 20 years since the original production, which for its time was daring (not only do you have a long-term loving homosexual relationship presented as not only normal but accepted by the community, but you have the chorus line -- the notorious Cagelles -- making you wonder just which ones are male and which are not). You'd think the show was dated, but it's not. With today's "gay marriage crisis" and the public discussion on just what marriage means, this show -- with its message of love and tolerance -- is needed now more than ever. (One could have wished the show were playing when the GOP rolled into town, but I doubt the RNC would have provided tickets to the delegates for this one.) Plus you have Harvey Fierstein's still-funny book, and Jerry Herman's glorious score (which includes "Look Over There", "The Best of Times", and "I Am What I Am" -- and if you aren't familiar with these songs, you should be). My recommendation: What are you waiting for? La Cage aux Folles is still the jewel of the cabaret world, the toast of the Riviera, the pride of St. Tropez -- and one of the best musicals in town.

Gem of the Ocean: August Wilson has, for the past few decades, been writing the plays that will make up a ten-play theatrical history of the African-American experience (one for each decade). This play is the ninth one written, but the first one chronologically, taking place in 1904, with slavery still a living memory. I can't say too much about it, since Wilson has always had a penchant for mixing grim reality with the supernatural which makes any description pale in comparison to seeing the work. But I can praise the cast, led by Ruben Santiago-Hudson and LisaGay Hamilton, and featuring the towering performance of Phylicia Rashad as 230-year-old Aunt Ester, a woman who carries the history of her people within her like a transcendant, glorious burden. Ms. Rashad's performance alone is worth the price of admission, but every component of this production is just so close to perfection. (Side note: Why hasn't anyone in Hollywood, black, white, or paisley, started to film Wilson's plays? Even the Pulitzer Prize-winning Fences, which had a top-of-his-career performance by James Earl Jones, has not reached the screen. Shame on Hollywood, and especially on its black actors and directors, for not getting these works before a wider audience.) My recommendation: There will be many strong dramas this season, and many excellent performances, but if you consider yourself even a semi-serious theatregoer you must see Phylicia Rashad in Gem of the Ocean.

The Rivals: Richard Brinsley Sheridan's first play introduced the amazingly unique Mrs. Malaprop to the world (and to the dictionary). Dana Ivey plays her to within an inch of her life, and whenever she's on stage you find yourself paying especial attention to what she's saying -- no one else mangles English quite like Malaprop. I wish I could say the rest of the cast in Lincoln Center Theatre's revival of this eighteenth-century classic was equally fun to watch. Not that they do badly, mind you; but the long and, I daresay, boring first act is the price you have to pay for the faster, funnier second act. My recommendation: If you're teaching your high school English class about Sheridan and Restoration comedy, see this. Otherwise -- well, I hear there are some other good shows on Broadway that are much less of a chore and just as substantial.

And a happy 2005 to all. I spent the past week (actually, from 12/24 to 01/02) off from work. I had lots of good intentions and plenty of things to do, and didn't get to do all of them (which makes me no different than anyone else, really). Which is not to say I didn't get anything done, because I did.

First, entertainment. I finally got off my lazy ass and hooked up the DVD/VCR player I inherited from my mother after only eleven months. Which means that now I have to go thru my VHS collection and see what I want to keep and which titles I want to replace with DVDs. Anything purchased from here out will be on DVD, mainly because the picture looks so much better (dammit, the rest of the world was right). Also, DVDs take up less space and contain so many more special features than tapes do. I got a two-DVD set of the original Fleischer Studio "Superman" cartoons as a Christmas gift, and I bought (used) three more: My Big Fat Greek Wedding; Tokyo Godfathers; and A Mighty Wind. At 3 for $25 at the local Hollywood Videos it's not a bad deal.

Then, the theatre and the cinema. Bill-the-Honeybear treated me to a repeat viewing of The Incredibles (at the top of my buy-it-as-soon-as-it-comes-out list) at the local mall movies. (I can't believe the mall management is so short-sighted as to plan to replace the movies with a furniture store. Are they nuts? And how loud will the food court owners scream when what is no doubt a huge source of income dries up?). We also made the trip to The City to see four Broadway shows: Pacific Overtures (which I reviewed in an earlier post); Gem of the Ocean, the latest in the African-American history cycle by August Wilson; the revival of La Cage aux Folles (thanks to Neal and Kathe for the TKTS gift certificate!); and the New Year's Eve performance of Sheridan's The Rivals at Lincoln Center. I'll do more complete reviews later, but I will say that Gem and La Cage are must-sees, while Rivals is more interesting in the second act than the first, but Dana Ivey's Mrs. Malaprop should be arrested for grand show theft and sentenced to a Tony award.

We even did stuff for the house. Maybe not a major project, but one we've put off for far too long. We weather-proofed the three front living room windows, using that plastic sheeting that you tape around the windowsills and use a blow dryer on to make it shrink taut. I'm usually oblivious to such things, but Bill-the-Honeybear could notice an immediate draft reduction. If it can cut our heating bills down, then it's good. We only have to do it for this year; by this time next year those windows will be replaced. And as a bonus, I finally got the measurements for living room curtains! Now, of course, all we have to do is choose colors and fabrics and hardware.

Now it can be told: I've been offered the position of editor of Challenge, the newsletter of my Monday night gay group (Gay Activists Alliance in Morris County, or GAAMC for short). I had a working dinner last Tuesday with the new group president, Sherri, and went over my ideas for changes as well as answers to questions she posed for me about how Challenge is produced. I even researched, prior to the dinner, comparative printing costs at Kinko's and Staples. (Afterwards, I checked on the costs of some of the more popular desktop printing software packages. There's a reason you don't see them out on the shelves at most stores!) We seem to be on the same wavelength as far as what Challenge can become, so I hope these changes can go from vision to reality.

I did have some real-world work to do. The company who signs my paychecks -- Dynamic Technology Group, in Roseland -- managed to screw up their contract with me for 2005, so I took part of Monday morning and drove up to their offices. The account rep, Matt, was very apologetic -- he said the contract had been copied from their standard boilerplate contract, not from my prior year contract -- and made all the changes I pointed out. (For the record, they were: the addition of an end date, changing a contract in perpetuity into a one-year contract; the mention that I could purchase my health insurance thru DTG's group plan; and saying that, if I quit DTG, I had to wait a year before working for Ethicon -- not every client company of DTG.) With the changes in place -- and with a $1.50/hour raise in my rate! -- I signed the contract.

Like all vacations, this one was too short (which vacations aren't?) and I didn't get everything done I thought I'd do during this week (who does?). But I did get quite a bit done, so all in all I'm pleased. All this, and Bill-the-Honeybear didn't fuss (too much) about eating his New Year's Eve herring for luck!