We went shopping yesterday -- so sue me. Bill-the-Honeybear had been reading a flyer from Kohl's and spotted a real deal on a coffee maker (Black & Decker, with a thermal carafe). The catch was, the real deal was only good from 5:30 a.m. to noon on 11/26 -- the day after Thanksgiving, aka "Black Friday", aka the busiest shopping day of the year. So off we trundled to Kohl's. (What sweetened the pot for me was a sale on electric shavers, since my old one was in need of daily recharging.)

First miracle: finding a parking space as soon as we arrived. No, not right close up to the front door, but not out in the Himalayas either. Second miracle: no mobs of screaming shoppers fighting to the death over the last of something. In fact, no last-of-somethings that were readily apparent. Third miracle: honest to God helpful sales staff who actually led us to the items we wanted -- twice. Fourth miracle: the "oh my God" length lines waiting to check out actually moved fast. This was due to there being two sets of eight registers (the "men's" and the "women's", named for which clothing section they were near), all of them staffed by two-person teams of checker and bagger, and a store manager at each set directing people to the next available register. The bottom line: In and out in less than an hour.

Volunteering report. Yesterday I worked the matinee performance of Mamma Mia! (my second time there). Aside from the stage manager, I was the only BC/EFA volunteer there! So we both worked the "pictures with cast members" concession -- he took the Polaroids, I collected the money. What was special this time was that all three female leads -- Judy McKaye, Liz McCartney, and the fabulous Carolee Carmello -- volunteered to be the cast members having pictures taken. After about a half hour of pictures (everything from the shy little girl from Ireland to the 11-member family), and with all the audience members who wanted pictures gone, I put my own $20 into the bucket and got my picture taken with "Donna and the Dynamos" -- and was thanked by all three for helping out. I don't mind volunteering -- I only wish the reason we're doing the collections was no longer around.

Playing the market. Yes, I am a proud capitalist pig -- I own stock in 21 companies. My investing strategies are simple, so for those of you thinking of taking the plunge, this is what I do:

1. Look for companies whose products you use. Check out your pantries, your garage, your basement. And don't forget the companies you (and your close family members) work for.

2. Limit yourself to amounts you feel comfortable with. My personal rule (which you need not follow) is never to invest more than $5,000 in any one company at any one time, and never buy more than 100 shares in any one company.

3. Know when to get out. Pick a point where, if the stock price reaches that point, you sell. My own personal rule is, sell the stock if the price hits half of what you paid for it (the limit-your-loss point) or if it splits and you now own over 100 shares. That latter part is what generates part of the money I use for future stock purchases. With this rule, you don't have to watch the markets obsessively during the day, and you don't panic if a stock price dips below your original purchase price.

4. Be able to wave goodbye. Everyone has a reason why they invest. I've used stock sales to buy cars and make the down payment on my house. When the time comes that you need to use the money, don't sit there and think "if I hold this one more day I'll have that much more money". Stocks go down as well as up. You have a use for the money today -- so sell today.

Now, you may ask, what does the laird of Toad Hall own? In no particular order (and see if you can guess why I own these stocks), they are: Automatic Data Processing; Aetna; Bank of America; Vermont Teddy Bear; Barnes & Noble; Church & Dwight; Colgate-Palmolive; Cadbury Schweppes; Cablevision; Disney; Deluxe Printing; Friendly's Ice Cream; General Electric; Georgia-Pacific; Johnson & Johnson; Kellogg; PepsiCo; Procter & Gamble; Royal Dutch Petroleum; Time Warner; and Yankee Candle.